Talking to a lot of people I know, one of the things that stands out the most is their negative views on networking: it’s wrong because it’s about using people. While that may be true for a small subset of people, I disagree that that is the primary objective for the majority of networkers out there. Effective networking is all about creating long-lasting, mutually exclusive relationships with people you meet. When done correctly, networking leads to all parties gaining invaluable connections for life, and the opportunity to help each other. In this series of posts, I’ll be dissecting what’s worked well for me over my career thus far.
It’s not all about you
Networking, at its core, should be a two-sided relationship – both parties should be working to add value to the other side’s life and goals, whether directly or indirectly. It’s important to be transparent about where you’re coming from, your own experiences, and what your core skills are – not to sell yourself, but to help them develop a holistic profile of you and your background, and start (subconsciously) cataloging you in their own mental Rolodex of where you fit in in their circle. People respond more favourably when you offer to listen to their problems and try to help them (and actually follow through), rather than just your own goals/problems – and it will eventually help you more in the long run.
Give them a reason to talk to you….
Maybe you’re the leading authority on a given topic, or maybe you’re a student in their first year. Both ways, you’ve got your own core skillset, and your own experiences to offer to everyone else – own it. It’s important to know what you bring to the table, and what your key strengths are. And from the back of that, give the other person a solid reason to want to continue to talk to you.
…but don’t bore them
Conversations can drag on…. and on…. and on. Don’t be that one person who finds a single target to talk to the entire night. Know how to read the room, and see when the conversation is up – regular umms and ahhs are a good sign. Keeping the conversation short and sweet (unless the other person extends it – in which case, keep going!) will leave a favourable impression in the other person’s mind, leading them to be more open to a follow-up meeting later (more on this below).
You can’t know everyone……
Statistically, it is impossible for a person to know everyone in their given field (according to research, you can only remember 150 people at a time). Accordingly, smart networkers know the value of picking and choosing people they network with. This is more about identifying your own goals about what you intend to achieve in any relationship, and prioritising the sorts of people you intend to meet – this may be based on their industry, experience, wider network, or simply due to the admiration you hold for them for a multitude of other reasons. Conversely, you should know how you’ll be positioning yourself, so that you’re adding value to the people you’re meeting – refer to the paragraph above.
….but still, Go out and Meet new people
A wide and comprehensive network requires – unsurprisingly – people. Most people, however, are happy to constrict their networks to people they know well, who share the same interests, or who are directly introduced to them. While this may work well enough at a very basic level, it severely restricts the flow of new ideas and thus quality of development of a person’s thoughts – new ideas being one of the core reasons people seek to diversify their networks in the first place. To get around this limitation, it’s important to meet people from outside your comfort zone – whether by attending trade events in a different location, going to events and talking to people you wouldn’t normally talk to, or meeting people at activities other than professional events – after all, you want to show that you have a fun side, too!
Follow up
Meeting someone over drinks and canapes at an event and getting their business card – or not – doesn’t meant that they’ll remember you. Following up after a meeting is important, so that you can take your connection from being completely superficial to something which may actually evolve into a strong relationship. That doesn’t, however, mean spamming everyone with a generic, catch-all message – doing that will get you into more trouble than the potential benefits. It’s important to highlight why you’re reconnecting, what you feel you can aid the other person with, and then follow up with a request for a coffee/etc. People are busy, and it’s important to let them know why they should spend their time with you rather than elsewhere.
Up next
This was the first part of a multi-part series on effective networking – the next installment in this series will focus on how to maintain relationships and how to leverage them for mutual benefits. Subscribe to find out when it’s released!